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Month: June 2010

The Day After

The Day After

Sunday night we ended up staying in a shelter, sleeping in our car.  There weren’t enough cots and pillows, and the truck was somewhat comfy, so me, the hubby, and the dog slept in the truck.  We woke up the next morning, and since we were able to make it in to work, worked.  I-40 West to our house was shut down, so it wasn’t like we could go home.  All the backroads were overtopped, so we could stay in the shelter or go to work.

So we went to work, we washed up in the bathrooms.  I found online where a news agency had done an aerial shot of our house.  It was interesting to say the least, seeing our house surrounded by water.


Nothing could have prepared us for stepping in to our house.  We were able to get home Monday afternoon when they opened I-40 back up.  We started out by helping our neighbors do some stuff, then stepped in to our house.  The refrigerator was laying on its back.  I suppose water picked it up and it fell backwards.  The sofa was rearranged.  Things in the kitchen were now found in the bathroom, or in various other parts of downstairs.  Everything got jumbled around.


We were able to save some stuff.  The fish tank stand and fish tank were ok (as were the fish at first).  The sewing machine cabinet my grandfather had made was ok.  The dining room table and chairs and various other things were ok.  The new sofa was out.  I guess that was not nearly as bad as losing all the books we used to have downstairs, that we had just several weeks before the flood taken upstairs.  We still haven’t checked out a lot of the electronics.  I don’t have high hope for them though.  All my hard drives got wet.  My Wii, the DVD player, the stereo system.  I don’t know where to begin putting them all back together.  Right now we have to focus on the house, but at some point I will have to start repairing everything else.  I guess it’s better than what a lot of the other neighbors are doing… buying all new.  The oven was ok, as was the hot water heater (which will be another post, maybe) and the cooktop (until the Mormon "help" took care of it).  The washer, dryer, fridge and freezer all ok.  Haven’t tried the dishwasher yet.  The TV was ok, thank goodness.  By about one inch.  I guess we haven’t tried to turn it on, but hopefully if anything is wrong, it will only be the power cord.

The Day of the Flood

The Day of the Flood

Sunday morning my husband woke me up.  The creek is rising!  No big deal to me though.  Did that yesterday, and everything was fine.  The rain will slow and the creek will go back down.  Except the rain didn’t slow, and the creek didn’t go back down.  30 minutes later he is waking me up wanting me to help carry stuff upstairs.  The creek is rising fast.  Looking out the window shows our street with water gushing down it.  Apparently one of the culverts got blocked, and the water back flowed.  Finally the pipe cleared itself, and we could divert our full attention to the creek behind our house that was rising.  We woke up neighbors on both sides of us.  They weren’t concerned; it will go back down.  So, we continued to carry important stuff upstairs.  We didn’t get it all though.  No where near enough.  I guess we got the important more expensive stuff.  But not the stuff that can’t be replaced; the documents, business cards, baseball cards, etc.

We left the house about 8:30 am.  We packed up some food, some clothes, and the dog.  Luckily we had given our cats to my parents quite a while ago, so we didn’t have them to worry about.  On our way across the interstate, water was getting right up to the edge of the road.  We went to the Bellevue exit.  I wanted to get a hotel room right off.  My husband thought we would be able to get back to our house that night; so he wanted to wait on the hotel.


After we got off the exit, husband realized his work laptop was at home.  Even though it was on the second floor, and free from flood water, he wanted it.  So back home we go.  We stopped at home for about 10 minutes.  Watching the water get higher and higher.  We never thought it would get that high.  Or at least I didn’t.  We left again when I started getting excited about how high the water was getting.  I didn’t want to get stuck there.  A neighbor offered to let us stay at their house, but they were further down the street than we were.  While they were protected from flooding, that didn’t mean that we would be able to get out of the subdivision if something happened.  In that little amount of time, the water had gotten up quite a bit.


Back through to the Bellevue exit, there was water starting to creep up the road, on to the shoulders.  We went down and hung out by Krogers.  Went back about an hour later.  The exits were under water.  The movie theater, Shoney’s and gas station had flooding.  I started to wonder how our house looked.  Every way to get home had been blocked by the Harpeth River.  The concrete dividers on the highway had been overtopped.  The soccer field was inundated with water.  What was once field was a raging river.


The Harpeth River had taken over Bellevue.

The Saturday before the Flood

The Saturday before the Flood

You would think this would have been a warning to us; that we would have started carrying stuff upstairs when it started flooding Saturday. But the water went back down so quickly; so we didn’t think anything of it; or at least I didn’t. Saturday it rained and rained. We got word that hubby’s father’s apartment was flooded and that he needed some help. Since roads were already closing, there wasn’t much we could do at that point. But we thought we were safe. So we went about our life, relaxing after a long week’s worth of work. Little did we know that the next morning would change our life forever.



So I ended up having to total my old car after the flood.

I still don’t understand why I didn’t drive mine and my husband’s car away before the flood.  We could have taken two separate cars.  Saved all three of our vehicles.  I didn’t think of that.  Of course, I didn’t think that the water would get that high either.

Bought a new to me one, basically same year, same model as my old one but with a bit more features and less mileage.

It was a fight to get this one.  My husband wanted to take the insurance money, have me buy a really old grungy one, if one at all, and pocket the rest of the money.  This one I lucked in to though.  My husband’s boss was selling his old Honda Accord to buy a new Infiniti, so I bought the Accord to give him some extra money to put towards the Infiniti.  My husband makes me feel bad about buying the car.  I guess I deserve it, but right now we have better things to do than spend our time trying to fix up a car we were counting on being dependable.



Alone and afraid

Alone and afraid

What’s the point anymore?  It seems like I feel so alone and tired all the time.  I don’t think anyone cares whether or not I live or die.  No one.  I just want to sleep all the time.  Sleeping would be nice.  Sleep and never wake up.  The only good I produce in this house is money.  I’m sure everyone can get by with out my money. 

I’ve thought about going back to counseling but what’s the point?  What’s the point in trying to feel better; I’m just spinning my wheels anyways.  No matter how hard I try, I figure life is always going to feel like this, a constant struggle to figure out why – or how – I’m going to get through the next day alive.  I’m alone in this fight.  That I know. 

The bad thing about it – I want so desperately for someone just to hold me.  To let me know everything is going to be ok.  I don’t think I can believe them though.  I have no question in my mind things are not going to be ok.  I’m not going to get better.  That just living will be a constant struggle for the rest of my life. 

I can’t do this alone.  And I can’t open myself up to help from someone else.  It’s a hellish limbo I live.  Wondering what lie I’m going to tell myself today to calm my wanting to give up.  Life might work out for others, but not me.  I don’t think my parents would care, no friends, and well, I don’t think my counselor remembers me. 

I’m tired of crying.  But at the same time I’m tired of hiding the tears behind a smile and a laugh.  No one wants to get close to me; and a part of me is ok with that.  I’m ugly.  I’m fat.  I understand.  I’m starting to think that the only thing I’m good for is to be yelled at; to be the screw up. 

I can’t keep doing this. I’m tired for fighting so long, with nothing to show.  I’m tired of wondering how many days I would have to go without eating before it will be over.  I’m tired of wondering how deep the cut would have to be before I don’t have to fight any longer.  I’m tired.

Nashville Metro Codes Department

Nashville Metro Codes Department

Metro Codes. ugh. I’m not even sure where to start with this. They decided to require just about everyone who got affected by the flood to get a building permit. Thus starting the saga of making the flood 10x worse than it already was. I’m starting to learn that anytime you deal with a government entity, you’re gonna get screwed. Local governments are just as bad as the federal and state government. In fact they figure they are getting the shorter end of the stick, so they figure out more interesting ways to fine the crap out of you.

So, my husband spends half a day trying to get a permit. They put us in a flood plain, when we plainly aren’t. So that takes an hour to fix, mainly waiting to be seen for like 3 minutes. All because some idiot didn’t do his work properly. Because, after all, we’re made of time.

Get the building permit. Email the person listed as our inspector some questions. That person claims she isn’t the inspector. Actually she is just a danged secretary. Forwarded the person who is in charge of our inspection. Twice. In nearly two weeks. Finally I take the time out of my busy schedule to call every five minutes. Because, after all, we’re made of time.

Find out the crap that was put out by Metro isn’t right. Or at least the inspector who we have to please isn’t right. I don’t care which. It’s a change from what we’re told. No foundation inspection. Apparently it isn’t important to assess whether or not your house is structurally stable and hasn’t shifted off it’s foundation. No, they are checking for mold. I’m wondering if I’m going to have to explain to him that mold doesn’t grow in the pattern of the Yellawood logo. Then we have to have a finish inspection after drywall is up. Why the heck do they have to check my drywall. Everyone knows having drywall up is more important than making sure that your house didn’t shift off it’s foundation. Cretons. No, correction. Stupid cretons.

So, then we want to put in flexible ductwork under the house ourselves. No, you have to have a license to put that in. Huh? The law says I can put it in, see look, right here… Oh, no, we changed that for flood victims. Really? So if I didn’t get flooded then I’d be able put the ductwork in myself? Really? Well, then let’s pretend I didn’t get flooded. Cretons. No, correction. Stupid cretons. I have to pay a contractor way too much for putting them in. I had to ask higher ups this because the regular inspectors were either too stupid to know the law or were flat out lying. But little ole me. I got it in writing from the Assistant Director of Codes that basically they are screwing us. I’ve emailed News 2. I’m tired of them taking advantage of folks, all in the name of "public safety". Really, what public safety is involved when installing flexible ducts?

So I get an electrician to come out to the house. All because NES says that I have to have my house inspected by an electrician. Electrician comes out and is like why did NES say you have to have an electrician come out. Water didn’t get up to your main breaker. No friggin’ duh. But because Metro Codes is illegally not giving out homeowner permits to folks, I had to call an electrician to tell me that water didn’t come up to my main breaker. Because Metro figures I’m incapable of measuring myself. Maybe that is related to public safety too. They figure in the process of using a tape measure I’m going to knock out 10 of my neighbors or something. Cretons. Stupid cretons. So now, the electrical Codes person is telling us that what they told the electrician isn’t right. They can’t figure out what they’ve told everyone else. So they BS me thinking I’m stupid. If I knew a good lawyer, then I’d sue their butts.

The flood is bad enough, I think Metro Codes is worse.

Flood Plains

Flood Plains

When we bought our house, we never thought we would be hit by a flood. The 500 year flood line is way outside our property line. No flood insurance; we just couldn’t get it. All the insurance companies told us we couldn’t get it because we weren’t in a 100 year flood plain. After it was all over and we had 3 feet of water in our house, news stations loved to run stories about how cheap you can get flood insurance. Really? No joke. Where? Because we were flat out told it was illegal to sell flood insurance to anyone outside a 100 year flood plain. And that was after heckling three different insurance companies looking for someone to sell us the insurance. Neighbors had the same problem. It is disheartening to hear the news tell everyone how easy it is to get flood insurance when we, and others, spent so much time trying to find flood insurance. So basically you have a lot of folks wanting to pay in to the system; a lot of them that likely won’t get flooded, and FEMA is like no, we don’t want your money. I wish I had enough money I could just refuse people like that. But this is a government run system; so therefore it isn’t fair.

A lot of things aren’t fair about this.

Everyone told me not to buy in a flood plain. Buying in a flood plain is bad. Evil. But guess what, those in a flood plain get to buy flood insurance no hassle. Then they get helped when something like this comes along. They can get contents plus structure insurance with their flood insurance. Then everything could have been replaced. Things like my diploma, pictures, baseball cards. I was good and didn’t buy in a flood plain. A lot of good that did me.

SBA sent us a loan application. If you can get a loan from somewhere other than SBA, then you get a 5.5% interest rate. If your credit score sucks so much that no one will give you a loan, you get an interest rate of 2.75%. We aren’t even going to be applying. What’s the point of giving them the interest? We’ll just take it out of money we already have. Everyone tells me to have good credit, you get better interest rates, what’s the use?