Why Don’t I Feel Loved?

How is it that I’m surrounded by people for quite a lot of the day and I still feel alone all the time. It’s hard to keep going.  It’s hard to understand how I can feel so alone and empty inside when I know there are people who care about me.   I know people must think I’m selfish.  I’m not. Maybe I’m just not capable of feeling loved. Maybe that is beyond my comprehension.  What kind of idiot am I to not figure out how to be loved?  I’ve just been hurt so many times that I start to wonder if I am destined to live my entire life like this.  I’ve lost most faith in people and don’t trust often. It’s terribly lonely but at least I don’t get hurt from someone who pretends they care but doesn’t really care about me. It’s hard though to be  alone. At least I have a couple of friends but most don’t know how much I struggle.  What am I supposed to do hello my name is and I’m morbidly depressed. It’s just easier this way. Or at least safer.

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