I started taking my medicine again. It screws with my memory but I have to have some relief. It makes me sleepy but doesn’t keep me asleep. So I’m awake like every hour or so.
The thing about this… I honestly don’t want to get better. I want to go through this. I finally have the courage (I think) to do this. I don’t want anything to stand in the way of peace.
As I say this I know that I probably won’t do this right either – that I would pretty much screw this up. I feel so trapped. Can’t move. Alone.