life

I have a counseling appointment on Wednesday. First time I’ve been back since starting thisnew job. I had to wait until I got sick time as I have to work until 5 pm, and to get to my appointment, I have to leave at least at 4:30 pm. So 30 minutes of sick time every two weeks.

I haven’t told my boss yet that this would be an on going thing. I guess I’ll just send an email every two weeks and hope that she is forgetful enough to not notice. So what if she wants proof that I was under some type of health person’s care? Can she require a “doctor’s note” and if so, how do you keep something like that private? Oh well.

I guess the bigger picture here though is I’m still scared to go to my counseling appointment. I feel all talked out, empty. What do you say once you’ve hit that point? Hello I’m depressed now what? I know… I know…  I’m never going to beat this so I need to stop complaining. I watched Girl, Interrupted and Nell this weekend.  I was in tears by Saturday night.  So very hard to get through.  Maybe because I connect so well.

I’ve started doing landfill inspections twice a week.  One longer, one shorter trip.  About 4 hours for the long one and 2 hours walking for the shorter one.  It is so tiring I’m ready for this to be over with.  I come home from the long one and just crash.  Hubby’s nice enough to help out with the chores and cook on those nights.

Oh well, finally got my W-2, so hopefully we can get our taxes done soon.

This week will be busy…  tonight bowling, Wed counseling and Thursday an AWMA meeting.

One thought on “life”

  1. Hi DJ,
    You followed me on Twitter, and I followed you back, and came to check out your blog. Wow, I'm so sorry you're so sad. I went through a period of depression–real depression not just the "blues", and finally made it through. I feel for anyone in the depths of this sadness.

    I hope you find something to give you joy, and wish you well.

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