life alone

so, life’s life.  we got a new truck.  can’t remember if i’ve said that here or not.  will have to post a picture here soon.  christmas is coming up… i should be excited, but am not.  it’s just another day. i’ve gotten bored with receiving gifts.  it’s like so what?  i get a gift.  big friggin’ deal.  i guess the whole birth of Jesus overpowers the gift giving, but honestly, I’m so tired and alone and crappy feeling, I’d just rather stay home then do the family thing.  I get off between Dec 25–Jan 1.  I’m taking Jan 2 off and half a day on Christmas Eve.  I’m thinking of setting up a counseling appointment, if the counselor will take me back.  I don’t know… I’m not sure if he will.  I’m a failure at getting better, I never will.  So why would someone want to counsel someone like me, that won’t get better.  That is destined to live this life like this?  counseling helps me make it through the day, but will there ever be peace in my life…  Will I ever wake up and not want to skip the day?  Will I ever think that my life is worth living?

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