it’s just me again

Well, it’s me again. Almost made it through another one of those supposedly relaxing weekends. Things still aren’t going so well. I feel so alone all the time. And the worst part is, I don’t know why. Why I feel like everything is so bad. Like I just want to die all the time. Some times I wonder what it would feel like to feel loved and wanted. To actually want to wake up in the morning and go to work. To actually enjoy something. I went to a conference this weekend, got to hang out with an undergrad professor. He was a really great professor, and knew about the depression. He didn’t even judge me for it either. He encouraged me to get into counseling, which I eventually did. He didn’t give me the snap out of it thing, which is unusual for the people I tend to have in my life.Life is getting more and more frustrating. I try to keep from crying, but it is getting increasingly hard not to. I’m so scared and alone. Sometimes I just want someone to talk to, but even so, it is so hard for me to open up to people It’s so hard making friends, sometimes I just wonder if I should not even try.

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