Don’t Know Where to Start

It’s been another long day and it’s just barely lunch time. I haven’t been getting much sleep lately and feel shitty overall. I don’t know what to do anymore. My mom lives with us now so counseling is pretty much out of the question. I guess in a way I feel there is nothing more that can be said. No medications that will help. Absolutely no hope of getting better. This is starting to wear on me. A lot. I pretty much have no one to talk to. I feel completely alone, empty. I’m back to the point where I need to talk to a priest. The only person I can talk to and not have to worry about being hospitalized. I can’t keep doing this. I’m worn beyond all energy I have.  With my mom living with us now I have to be happy when I get home. I pretty much have no privacy. Not like I had any before. But still one more person to have to cover everything up with. I don’t think I have the energy or strength to get through this time.  I don’t want to get through this time. It’s hard. If I can stick with this job for another year and half my husband will get the life insurance money if I go through with it. It’s not fair to leave him with no way to pay the bills. I wonder if starving myself would be considered suicide or complications of anorexia. 

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