Since I love to take pictures, I thought I would post some successes from the garden this year. This year, it’s been cooler, rainier, and I actually got out there with some fertilizer. So we’ve had plenty of pretty flowers.
And a mystery plant out in the subdivision common area…
Well, it’s another week at work. One that I didn’t want to do, but have to in order to make ends meet. Well, I guess. We could sell the house and then I could stay at home and loaf around, but where’s the fairness in that?
This weekend we went to my parent’s place. My husband put up a fan, put in a light over the sink, and fixed another light fixture in the kitchen. We also tried to fix their desktop, which is apparently not cooperating, so it came back home with us for a complete rewrite. Well if I can find a disk in order to rewrite it.
We also went over to my grandfather’s Saturday evening to have dinner. Steaks, fried okra, and potato salad. Just what every 90 year old needs. Apparently he is feeling better, but hadn’t been doing so well lately. He was almost bed-ridden because of weakness. The doctors stopped two of his THREE (yes, 3) diuretics, he’s been getting extra calcium and potassium (which also were very low) and seems to be getting stronger. He was telling us about it, saying he wasn’t sure he was going to live through that time. I’m glad that he did, and he’s still with us today. He made a point to tell me and my sister what wonderful grandchildren we are.
When I was down at my parent’s house also brought back a lot of stuff from my old room. Clothes- like what was going to be my senior prom dress, and my class day dress. And a couple other dresses I’m not sure why I didn’t have up here with me. Also came across my senior class photos, invitations, and my memory book. My husband was jealous, I think, he never got any of that kind of stuff.
Last I heard that stupid doctor I went to on Monday still hasn’t called in my medicine she said she was going to, so I must call during business hours to talk to someone I really don’t want to talk to, so that I can remind them that they are slacking on their job. They also ended up overcharging me for my copay. For some reason that new card that BCBS sent had wrong information on it as far as copay. The card was not even one month old.
I have a counseling appointment tomorrow, so I must ask my boss for time off again. I’m not really looking forward to it since she doesn’t seem to be able to answer to emails as to whether or not it is ok for me to go. If I tell her out loud she will forget. So, I chose to have the evidence in writing. Yes, I know, I’m still waiting and hoping and praying for that other job.
So, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. What to talk about? Well, if talking about the doctor’s visit doesn’t take up the whole hour. I’m not looking forward to it, but at the same time, need to talk to someone. I’m still extremely depressed. It’s hard for me to concentrate at work, even at home. It’s hard for me to care about what happens to me. Oh, you say I’m going to die… so what?! Little things like that are hard. How many people take for granted just wanting to live? Most people, from what I can tell, automatically figure on living. But what happens when a person has to make a concerted effort to know that they can’t die, that they must stay alive? What happens when the default goes from wanting to live, to wanting to die? How does a person get through this, how do I get through it? How do I have enough energy to tackle the littler things in life?
Went out for a walk with the hubby and dog today. Got down to the Harpeth River and let him have some fun fishing. That would be my husband doing the fishing, not my dog. It’s always so interesting to go down there. There’s so much wildlife, even if you don’t include the ticks. The dog was exhausted by the time we got back.
We ran into a neighbor who lives down the street. It’s always nice to talk to someone, even if just for a while. I still feel so disconnected from all the folks here. I don’t have kids nor do I have much time. I don’t like group things though I like just hanging out with a couple of folks who care, or at least pretend to care. It’s always hard just to connect with people. To open up to some degree. I’ve always had this problem. Heck ask any of my counselors. They’ll even tell you I don’t talk 🙂
Just to put a lighter spin on things, here’s a cute joke I received from my boss:
A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, ‘Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.’
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, ‘What would you like to talk about?’
‘Oh, I don’t know,’ said the stranger. ‘How about nuclear power?’ and he smiles.
‘OK,’ she said. ‘That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?’
The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, ‘Hmmm, I have no idea.’
To which the little girl replies, ‘Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know crap?
so i’m trying a new service for those who have text messaging (preferably unlimited texting) I’ve started something where I can send out a text message when updates are made to the page.
I’ll also eventually add email support for it too so that I can send emails when I’ve updated the site.
So made it through another day. I’m trying to get through each day but life just seems to still be so overwhelming. How do you deal with living when you don’t want to? It going to be a rough week. I go in for that stinking exam tomorrow. I don’t even care though. Each day at a time. So what does everyone think of my dog. She’s a sweetheart ain’t she?
so i just wanted to announce…i’ve pierced my belly button. with e’s help of course. but i did it! i kind of half sat up, half laid down on the floor and pierced my belly button. e held the clamp and i stuck the needle through.didn’t really hurt. in a way, that was disappointing. oh well though. i have this cute little ring. one that kind of looks like a dove flying holding a little cz.