I’ve decided to go back to counseling.  i can’t go on like this.  What’s the point?  I’m tired of living, tired of crying.  Who’s going to care if i die?  No one.  I just want someone to hold me, to be with me.  Erik’s mad at me, and i just want everything to stop.  I’m in so much physical and emotional pain, no on would understand.  How many people understand the pain that you have to be in to consider killing yourself?  Everyone would think how weak i was, how horrible a person i was.  They’d all be right.  I’m such a terrible person anyways.  Everyone hates me; Erik doesn’t even want to be around me.  I’m sure everyone has gotten tired of my whining.  So I’ll go now.