It’s been one of those days. I ask myself what’s the point. I’m counting down the days until I get sick days. So that I can go back to counseling.
Last night was hard. Really hard. All I wanted to do was cry. I had to be strong. To hold it all in. To not tell anyone how I feel.
I’m alone and scared. To relay to someone how completely empty I feel; how intense the feelings are, it’s just so hard. How do you tell someone who doesn’t understand? How do you explain to someone why you’re crying when you don’t know yourself? How do you explain why you want to die, when you don’t know yourself? What’s the point in trying to get through things when you feel there is no hope?
Is there hope? I’ve never thought so.
Yet I trudge along…